How individuals respond to the Five Love Languages

The Family Life Ministry of Church of Jesus Caritas organised a one-day formation on September 8 titled The 5 Love Languages.

Oct 05, 2018

KUALA LUMPUR: The Family Life Ministry of Church of Jesus Caritas organised a one-day formation on September 8 titled The 5 Love Languages. The formation catered for senior married couples, young married couples, couples preparing for marriage, single adults, single again and the youth.

With the advancement of smart phone technology and social media, effective interpersonal communication has diminished.

In light of this, Dr Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 languages of Love, found that each individual responds to different love languages.

They are 1) Words of Affirmation, 2) Quality Time, 3) Receiving Gifts, 4) Acts of Service and 5) Physical Touch. Dr Gary Chapman firmly believes that each person has one primary and one secondary love language, and he theorises that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive love.

The formation was conducted by the Family Life Ministry of the Church of the Assumption: Basil and Martina D’Rozario, Josephine Fonseka, Allan Lee, led by Joseph and Anita Pragasam who are also the Chair Couple for Archdiocesan Family Life Commission.

Parish priest Fr Michael Chua, in his opening address and words of encouragement, mentioned “Love is a Sacrifice,” quoting St Theresa of Calcutta.

In identifying their own Love Language, the participants completed a self-assessment test, which varied for different categories of individuals like husbands, wives, singles adults and teens. Upon completion of the profile assessment, with the knowledge of our own primary love language, that of our spouse, children and those we are in relationship with, effective communication based on their Love Language is deepened. The presenters also mentioned that for a person to be well and happy, there is an “emotional love tank” within each of us that needs to be filled.Happy moments, affirmation and acts of service fill up our love tanks. However, when someone has hurt us either by their actions or words, then our emotional love tanks are depleted or run dry. Therefore, it is important to keep our love tanks filled.

Participants were divided into six groups and everyone shared their own stories based on questions provided. It was very insightful to listen to others’ experiences which may differ from ours, and be able to look at a situation from a different perspective. The presenters then came to join the groups to help and explain some of the questions.

There were many stories shared.The presenters too shared their personal experiences and stories about how they have changed after knowing their spouses’ primary and secondary love language. Such changes will definitely strengthen any relationship. To quote Mae West: ‘It’s not what you say, but how you say it’. Some words may be misinterpreted by the tone and mannerism in which it is conveyed, causing many misunderstandings. It is beautiful to see how praising words, compliments and words of affection can change our perception and understanding of the other person when the person’s Love Language is Words of Affirmation.

Looking at our own personal profile, we now know how we will express ourselves to our loved ones as well as understanding what their love language is. This was a very enriching formation and it has brought to the attention of many participants the realisation to change the way of conveying their love in their relationships. Many relationships will blossom because more love is shared and God has shown us a new way to better understand our loved ones.

At the end of the formation, all participants left with a deeper understanding of their own Love Language. The participants also practised the Language of Love of Physical Touch, hugging each other goodbye, and thanking the presenters for the lessons learnt. All participants left with big and happy smiles.— By Charlotte Fernandez

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