Parents of special needs children show God’s love

Around 10 per cent of the world’s population, or roughly 650 million people, live with a disability. Persons With Disabilities (PWD) may face multiple challenges ranging from difficulty in performing daily activities, environmental barriers at school and work, personal emotional barriers, negative perception from others and poverty.

Jun 28, 2019

By Vincent D’Silva
Around 10 per cent of the world’s population, or roughly 650 million people, live with a disability. Persons With Disabilities (PWD) may face multiple challenges ranging from difficulty in performing daily activities, environmental barriers at school and work, personal emotional barriers, negative perception from others and poverty.

Dr Sharon Anne Khor, a Consultant and Head of Rehabilitation Medicine and in-charge of Special Needs Children at a hospital here, was speaking at a dialogue on Disability with Parents and Families of Special Needs Children at the Church of St. Joseph, June 16, organised by the Diocesan Family Life & Laity Commission.

The session began with parents sharing their challenges in raising their special children. One parent shared that her daughter has Down syndrome and is now 40 years old. According to the parent, about 30 years ago special children were less visible because they were not taken out to participate in community activities but that the mother had persevered in bringing her daughter to church and for social outings.

Dr Sharon congratulated all the parents who persevered to bring their children to this group sharing despite requiring greater effort to get the children ready for Sunday Mass.

In her talk, Dr Sharon shared that the love and sacrifice of a parent to provide for the needs of the child enables the child to feel God’s touch, hear God’s voice and see God’s face.

She stressed that God did not spare His only Son from pain and suffering, adding that, “each of us too is called to carry our own cross and follow Christ.”

She told the audience that Christ, at the time leading to His crucifixion, had endured extreme torture, pain, hunger and thirst. But a woman wiped his blood stained, wounded face and a man helped carry His cross.

One parent then shared about her own struggle with illness. She said she had thyroid disease, slipped disc and unstable angina. According to the lady, one day she was in severe pain and couldn’t get out of bed. Her nine year old daughter with developmental delay kept coming to her to say “lapar” (hungry) many times.

As a mother, she said she felt so helpless that she could not feed her hungry child that day. She apparently told her daughter to wait until “Abang” (elder brother) came home. Without the knowledge of the mother, the daughter had gone into the kitchen to cook instant noodles for the first time in her life.

The mother had tears in her eyes when she found out that her daughter had learnt to cook her first meal after many times observing her.

Another mother said she was immensely touched when she found out that her son with developmental delay had made a milo drink for his younger sibling when the sibling was hungry.

According to Dr Sharon, this shows that God’s love can be made visible by special children who are indeed loving but sometimes do not have the opportunity to express themselves.

Dr Sharon then told the audience to imagine a world where everyone was beautiful, rich and strong. She asked, “Will a world like that be guaranteed happiness?”

Responding, she said, “This will make people conceited.”

Another question she posed was: “Will mankind be satisfied and live harmoniously?”

She said, historically, we have seen the rich wanting to become more powerful by waging wars to conquer more land; the beautiful wanting to be more glamorous by opting for a series of cosmetic surgeries while the strong wanting a bodybuilder physique ruining their health with steroids.

Quoting Luke 14:12-14, 27, she said, “Then he said to the host who invited him, when you hold a lunch or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or your wealthy neighbours, in case they may invite you back and you have repayment. Rather, when you hold a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind.”

Elaborating, she said this passage teaches us not to fall into the temptation of pride, aiming to impress others, forgetting that one should rather focus one’s energy on pleasing God.

Dr Sharon said, “Parents of special children may have to feed, bathe, dress and carry their children without ever hearing a thank you.”

One father shared that he wished to hear the word “Papa” from the mouth of his speech delayed son.

One father shared that he keeps his disappointments to himself and often cries in silence but he is glad to be able to open up at today’s session.

He said he wanted also to give hope to other parents because his child who was hyperactive throughout childhood has grown into an independent young adult who is now on a working holiday in New Zealand.

She then went on to say that parents are blessed because the child cannot repay them for their gift of love and care as only God can repay parents for their sacrifice.

“By serving their children, these parents are carrying their own crosses to become disciples of Christ,” she noted.

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