Should the preparation for marriage be bolstered?

Addressing the Rota Court in Rome, Pope Francis restated how important it was to bolster the preparation for marriage.

Feb 05, 2016

ROME: Addressing the Rota Court in Rome, Pope Francis restated how important it was to bolster the preparation for marriage.

Some view this project as a crucial response to the failure of numerous Roman Catholic marriages, yet it does not really thrill young couples.

“To become a priest, the preparation lasts eight years. To get married — and this lasts a lifetime — there are four lectures... something’s wrong.” Spoken by Pope Francis in September 2015 on his flight back from the United States shortly before the Synod on the Family, those words foretold that the preparation for marriage could be bolstered.

The conviction was restated by the Pope on Friday, Jan. 22, during his annual speech to the Roman Rota Court, in which he highlighted the importance of an “adequate preparation for marriage,” to be “a kind of new catechumenate.”

Avoiding such strong wording, for its part, the Synod final report highlighted the need to “develop course topics to be taught ahead of marriage.” Marriage should be discussed with young Catholics at an earlier stage, during Catechism.

But even before finding out what final opinion the Pope will deliver in his apostolic entreaty, many young couples are already dubious about facing a more demanding preparation for marriage.

Francois, 26 and Marine, 25 were married in June. Their preparation for marriage took place in their parish in Suresnes, Hauts-de-Seine, and consisted of three meetings with a priest and a weekend with other couples. “If you are truly committed, it’s totally sufficient,” asserts François.

It should be mentioned that, while this young finance inspector is an occasional churchgoer, his wife, an unbaptized actress, is not a believer, and he admits that she might have turned down a Christian marriage if the preparation had lasted any longer. All the same, he still believes that “it would be really hypocritical (on the part of the Church) to want to reduce the amount of separations by ‘sifting and culling’ during the preparation for marriage.”

“To some of the people we receive, even just one year of reflection is unthinkable.”

The idea is no more attractive to some of those who practise their religion on a more regular basis. Take Clément, 29 and Isabelle, 23 who will marry in September. They are both “fairly regular” practising Catholics, yet those Parisian fiancés could not imagine a lengthier preparation period. “Being engaged is not a really comfortable time,” explains Clément, a web consultant. “We’re waiting for the wedding, we have no wish to extend the wait.”

They went through an “intensive” preparation, including guidance from a priest and weekend meetings with other couples, which lasted a year and a half, a period they believe is necessary, and not just for couples with a complicated past. In fact, according to Thyra, it is an absolute priority in terms of pastoral family values. -- Global Pulse

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