Confession: View of one heart and one soul

Confessions are available either before weekend Masses or through an appointment with your parish office.

Apr 22, 2022


Josephine Dionisappu
I am not going to tell you everything you should know or need to know about the Sacrament of Confession, but I will share my personal experience of encouraging God’s love and mercy through confession.

I try to make confessions monthly because I know I am a sinner and I know I need His grace. And just telling others about this, I have received mixed reactions; the worst is those who told me it was too often. But who am I to judge them for what they say?

I would have more profound things to share had I kept a journal but maybe this is the start of keeping a faith journal.

My encounter
About five weeks before Easter, I went for Confession and at the end of the confession, I was waiting for the priest’s words, “I forgive you of your sins.” In a way only my heart knows, I yearn to hear those words. To me, it is my deep encounter with love that washes over my entire self, and each time, I feel as if it is the first time I fell in love with Jesus.

God knows I am forgiven, though saying I am a sinner keeps me humble.

This last confession was so special. About two weeks after confession, I was dealing with a disappointment that has roots from a few years ago. I noticed and felt the pain of that disappointment and then I heard a voice nudging me to “Give it to Jesus” and I obeyed. Though I cannot remember my words, I was like a young child taking my pain to Jesus to fix it, like a broken toy, indeed something was broken. To my surprise, that same voice asked me, “if the roles were reversed, what would you have done?” And right there I realised, I would have acted in the same way the other person had. I had never seen the situation in this light, but I believe that God was opening my eyes. And would you believe it, the entire process took barely a few minutes while I was at my desk. I knew then that God wanted me to see something that was long hidden from me and He revealed it to me at His appointed time.

After this last Confession, I have also managed to gain so much peace and I see myself being more accepting towards myself and refraining from judging myself.

And the sweet gift following this Confession was also being able to sleep soundly. I never really had insomnia but in the days that followed, I had long weekend naps and for what seemed like the first time, I realised the importance of sleep and rest, especially in my faith life.

I am a forgiven sinner, yes that term makes more sense, so I cannot say I am better than anyone, I will leave that to God. When I used to attend Confession twice a year, I was a little frantic. I thought so many silly thoughts – would the priest faint? would the priest judge me? I had a long ‘what ifs’ list but when I started making more frequent confessions, it became more natural and I worried less about the ‘noise’ and focussed on His grace and mercy.

I am thankful to all priests who have made it possible for me to make regular confession. And though it is common for the priest to thank us and not usually the other way around, I want to thank our priests who bring this encounter of God’s mercy right to the doors of hearts. And I am praying that my sisters and brothers return to the Father, in a way where our lives are renewed and our sins extinguished by our Loving, Merciful Lord. If you are struggling to take this step, know that you are not alone and trust me that the anxiety of going for Confession improves in time, it just gets easier.

First Holy Communion in our parish was in February and the children’s first Confession was before that. I was blessed to be a labourer in this vineyard as their catechist. As I witnessed their innocence, humility and eagerness when we had our mock Confession, I saw something priceless. I felt that this is how God might be looking at us when we are at Confession. The sight of a child making his confession warmed my heart. I am humbled to be reminded that I am God’s child as well.

Confessions are available either before weekend Masses or through an appointment with your parish office. You and I are just a phone call away to mercy, we only need to take the first step.

(Josephine Dionisappu is a forgiven sinner. She has been teaching Catechism for a few years and is a Cradle Catholic who is cradled by Jesus. She hails from Seremban and loves to write, bake and laugh. She was inspired to write this piece following the Forgiven programme hosted by Formed which she attended, and her latest Confession )

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