The domestic church in action
When I was a little girl, my family would gather each evening to pray the rosary, not an uncommon tradition in those days.
Jun 20, 2014
By Effie Caldarola
When I was a little girl, my family would gather each evening to pray the rosary, not an uncommon tradition in those days. Several of us kids, especially the little ones, snoozed through the prayer, and those of us who were older probably daydreamed.
My dad would joke with me because, scrupulous little soul that I was, when I was the leader, I would often take us through a decade of 15 Hail Marys to ensure I hadn’t missed one.
These are priceless faith memories. Despite my frequent inattention then, today I know how to pray the rosary. It was a gift my family gave me.
The Second Vatican Council’s Dogmatic Constitution on the Church (Lumen Gentium) tells us in No. 11: “The family is, so to speak, the domestic church.” This is a beautiful phrase, “the domestic church,” and it is a challenging one. What does it mean to be a domestic church?
Children receive their greatest teaching at home. School, church, friends, the media all have their influence, but there is no more profound teacher than the family.
The greatest way to grow the domestic church is to lead by example. To observe a crucifix prominently displayed in the home, to see a parent attend daily Mass or pray with Scripture — these are all more precious than any lecture.
When my son was little, he sat down with me one evening and asked me about something in the Bible, which I had before me. As we talked about it, sharing each other's thoughts and questions, he snuggled closer and said, “I wish religion class could be like this.”
It was a precious moment because, truly, it was the best of religion classes, and I wish there had been more of those moments between us.
I admire the families who celebrate the liturgical year in the home. At our house, the creche was always a centerpiece of Christmas. It was — like the wonderful creche of my childhood — a touchable, unbreakable one. Little hands could rearrange the angels and the shepherds and the kings and see that the real Christmas story was not about Santa and what we would “get,” but the miracle that we had already been given.
Advent and Lent were seasons observed together in the home. The little Advent prayer sung each morning at school was repeated around our own Advent wreath at home before dinner. “Light the Advent candle one, now our waiting has begun.”
The sacrifices of Lent were explained and explored. Our family never missed Holy Thursday and Good Friday services. We marched in the Good Friday downtown faith walk and sometimes one of the kids got to carry the cross.
We were lucky to have priest friends who would offer home Mass before the potlucks our group of friends would share. There were always plenty of kids in attendance. Children heard their parents offer spontaneous prayer for the suffering world.
Some families I know do an even better job of bringing the liturgical year home. They celebrate the anniversary of their child's birth into the faith through baptism, and they celebrate the feast day of their child’s namesake. They fill shoes on St Nicholas’ feastday and celebrate St Patrick’s with real understanding of who this great man was.
The domestic church should be a place of celebration and support. It should weave faith into daily life and discussion. It might include morning prayers in the car on the way to school and an act of contrition at the beginning of a road trip. The domestic church ends the day in prayer and includes Christ as a family member.
Will all this guarantee that your child will remain an active Catholic later in life? There are no guarantees. But rest assured, the domestic church plants the seed.
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