Welcoming the stranger in 2024 – and discovering a sister/ brother!

Jan 05, 2024

As I was contemplating - Fr Gerard Steve Theraviam

Another year goes and another year comes. Is there anything new under the sun? Certainly, ‘cos life presents new adventures, opportunities and challenges — thus, I welcome this new year even as I have barely gotten over the Advent confessions, Christmas liturgies and festivities and attempt to start the new year with as much energy as I can muster. There are plans and projects ahead, more parish than personal, and there is sometimes no time to stop and ponder….

However, one thing that sticks out in my mind was an evening I spent with a small group of young friends of mine, some of whom I met as youth in a previous parish long ago, joined by spouses as well as newer friends with whom I have bonded and met over meals at regular intervals. Some of them were earlier very active in church as youth, but studies and jobs (and age) have meant that they are hardly involved, although I know I could depend on them if I sent out a SOS, even if they might miss a Sunday Mass or two along the way. Among them are two couples whose weddings I have been honoured to preside at, one partner who is now a catechumen. One individual claims he is atheist but probably really is agnostic (for now!) and yet asked me to bless his home when we earlier had dinner there (to please his mother, he says, but I think there was more to that!), and really is enthusiastic to dialogue with people as to why he and many other young people don’t attend Mass anymore. Two identify as gay ? one of whom who ‘came out’ to me recently, although he assumed I knew already ? and yes, I had guessed. All of them have strong opinions on the Church (and her priests ? I am not spared either!) and have no problems sharing their opinions vehemently ? and I listen attentively to their raves and rants because this is one way of listening to the voices on the ground and I am glad that they also reciprocate and listen to me when I present my views, sometimes accepting the flaws they see in the Church but also when I present them with another way of looking at things. I always come away from these encounters with a warm feeling of love ? giving and receiving ? and a sense of having spent time in fulfilling ministry ? for didn’t Jesus spend a lot of time ministering while breaking bread with people?

Our latest encounter came the night before the Declaration Fiducia supplicans issued by the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith and approved by Pope Francis, which allows priests to bless people who request a blessing, whether they are in ‘irregular’ marriages or identify as LGBTQ. I am sure this will provide fodder for our next meeting. Of course, some of the secular press have misrepresented and sensationalised the Declaration to mean that the Church now allows priests to preside at gay weddings. No, it hasn’t ? the Church still sees marriage as being between a man and a woman. However, her stance towards people who have been seen as in the periphery or outside her ‘boundaries’ has certainly changed with Pope Francis, whose heart reaches out to people who have sometimes felt rejected by the Church. Sadly, his overtures to such people have been misunderstood by even cardinals and bishops who are very critical (and sometimes downright rude towards him) and think he is ‘going soft’ on traditional Church teaching. But surely, doesn’t his pastoral concern for all point to the Good Shepherd who goes after the lost sheep, to bring it back in his arms and restore it to the flock?

During this last year, the cathedral parish had been inclusive and welcoming as one of our major goals. We have a large congregation and many of our congregation are not local. We also have many visitors from other parts of Malaysia as well as overseas; more so this Christmas perhaps due to our recent ‘makeover’ and reopening. Sadly, you could come to church and attend Mass but not feel welcome in the crowd, since we Catholics are poor at reaching out in love, except perhaps at the sign of peace. Even some of our Ministers of Hospitality have had to be reminded to smile and be welcoming and offering actual hospitality rather than seeing their role as ushers and money-collectors and worse still, arbiters of fashion who send people away because they are improperly dressed! (OK I get it, people should dress decently for Mass but the reality is that some people have different standards and if people come covering the essentials, let’s not be Scribes and Pharisees!) At our recent Parish Pastoral Assembly, it was noted that we had improved but there are still lots to work at so that people see themselves as part of a loving faith community, rather than mere attendees.

Each of us needs to open ourselves to be able to greet the stranger and see Jesus in them ? and also recognise that as children of the one God, we are all sisters and brothers, irrespective of colour, status or orientation. Since we are still in the Christmas Season, a blessed Christmastide and warm wishes for the New Year 2024. Like the Magi, may we go out of our way to greet, discover and welcome the Saviour who resides us in all.

(Fr Gerard Theraviam is the Parish Priest of the Cathedral of St John the Evangelist in Kuala Lumpur, as well as the Spiritual Director to the World Community for Christian Meditation, Malaysia.)