I am the only Catholic….

Mar 22, 2025

Canvas - Fr Richard Anthonysamy, SJ
Early within the season of Lent, one hears of the Rite of Election where those who may be baptised (also called catechumens) at the upcoming Easter Vigil are called together to meet the local bishop and others in the same journey as themselves. Their names are enrolled in a book and witnessed by the bishop. The entire Rite of Election sets a welcoming tone and aims to encourage the catechumens as they enter the final stages of preparation for baptism. Following this ceremony, there will be three more “Scrutinies” on the third, fourth, and fifth Sundays in Lent. The pinnacle of the journey is found at the Easter Vigil night when the catechumens are baptised and welcomed into the Church. Most church-going Catholics are aware of the journey the catechumens make.

Over the last 17 years as a priest serving in different locations and parts of the world, there is another voice that one also hears, perhaps throughout the year: “Father, I am the only Catholic in my family, and….” I am sure, like me, many of you have heard the above statement or similar ones, countless times. It is said with a sense of loneliness, both spiritual and human. One senses sadness and struggle. It is a struggle that seems to say, “How do I make them understand my newly found faith and worldview without offending them?”

If investigated further, one would find that a number of these people are catechumens. They were baptised as adults during Easter. They enjoyed the formal entry into the Christian faith, and the glow that followed. But, in the months and years that follow, the reality of the struggle emerges. They, knowingly or unknowingly, experience the Paschal Mystery to which they enjoined themselves by becomes disciples of Christ in the world.

Another place one hears this struggle is in inter-religious marriages. While the couples work towards maintaining their marriages, the give and take actions (done in the spirit of unity and preventing conflict) leave an uneasy feeling deep within. They wonder, “Am I choosing something else over God?” Questions abound, as does the fear to talk to one’s spouse less something unfavourable should happen. We all want our marriages to work and bring about hope and joy. However, we also have, as Christians, to acknowledge the struggle of the person who says, “(Father), I am the only Catholic….”

The practical answer we hear from many in response to the struggles mentioned above is, “Pray and everything will be alright.” Prayer is indeed needed to encounter and overcome challenges. Jesus prayed, and at times for long periods. However, beyond prescribing that the person spends time in prayer to address their loneliness and struggle, is there something more that we, as Church, should do? Did Jesus stop at prayer? Or did He do more?

The process of accompaniment does not end at the moment of baptism. Baptism is the beginning of Christian life, not its conclusion. I wonder if, amidst the numerous activities the diocese and parishes organise, there are provisions for the ongoing integration of the neophytes. Are there special teams, or a ministry set up precisely to accompany the neophytes into their new life? What would be the role of the sponsor or godparent in all this? And the BECs or other ministries? In some parishes, it appears that the RCIA also does the ongoing accompaniment of the neophyte in addition to their existing tasks. This may be manageable when the number of neophytes is small, but if the numbers are bigger, then they may need to reconsider. More importantly, should not other “non-RCIA” facilitators (fresh faces, as some call it) be responsible in helping the neophytes in their integration process? This is not to imply that RCIA facilitators are not suited for the task at hand, but rather to allow the neophytes to see, experience and understand the life of faith in the church from others as well. It is about “enlarging the tent” and allowing more to participate in the forming and integration process of the neophytes. It is to provide new “friends-in-the-Lord.”

If we look at the Gospels, it seems like Jesus took about three years to recruit and form His disciples. He journeyed with them. And most certainly, He got to know them beyond the formation He was giving them. Even when He sent them out on mission to the towns and villages, He sent them in pairs. Not alone. The companionship allows for accompaniment.

Integration should be accompanied with reflectiveness, an important aspect of Christian life and spirituality. The path of spiritual accompaniment, which includes discerning and interpreting the events of one’s life in the light of the faith, leads to discovering the voice of the Lord. Fostering that union and relationship is the ultimate goal. A common worry these days is how neophytes are immediately recruited to be part of the parish RCIA team. Is this suitable for the wellbeing and development of the neophytes, given their late entry into the faith, one wonders. The Church has much more to offer. Perhaps aligning our ministries to support the development of the neophytes should be considered to promote integration of faith and life.

I wonder how we could, as Church, help those who are the only Christians in their family better in terms of “ministering” to those families as well. Do we invite them in a special way to our parish feast day or Christmas gathering? In one parish, each year they would have a special gathering of those in inter-religious marriages. I have often wondered if the parable of the Samaritan Woman at the well (John 4) could serve as a meditation to the challenges mentioned above. The way in which Jesus went from transforming the Samaritan woman to transforming her village in a respectful and humane way, provides useful points for deeper pondering.

Lent is a time for soul searching and returning to the Lord. Within our midst, there are these fellow Christians who carry the blessing and weight of being the only Catholic in their family or circumstances. Almsgiving in Lent is to those who need it. This would be one group of persons whom we need to open our hearts to. After all, by their baptism, they are also part of the family of the church. Shouldn’t we care for our family?

(Fr Richard Anthonysamy SJ is involved in parish ministry, spiritual direction, and faith formation work.)