Some issues pertaining to marriage

Oct 21, 2015

Q: What are some of the issues which may hinder the preparation of marriage?

A: 1. READINESS ISSUES
(abuse, addictions, age, pregnancy, mental illnesses, immaturity, brief courtship, marriage on the rebound or as rebellion, lack of financial support)

As serious as all of the above issues are, the resolution is similar for all of them. The priest refers the couple to a professional for assessment and treatment, if necessary. The professional’s role is to advise the couple, and the priest, not to make a final decision on whether the marriage should be delayed. The burden of that decision rests solely with church authority.

Age
Age usually refers to young couples where at least one partner is a teenager. State laws vary as to the legal age for marriage, but for the Church’s purposes, most policies simply refer to teens. Maturity varies with the individual, and many couples past their teens are not ready to take on the commitment and responsibilities of marriage and would benefit from similar extra attention. In addition to professional assessment, discussion facilitated by a premarital inventory can help such couples to recognize their need for more time. Many policies include parents in this discernment process.

Age, however, can also apply to older couples. Despite the tendency to believe they need less preparation because of their presumed maturity, many policies note the special issues that are unique to older couples that merit discussion, i.e., previous relationships (especially for divorced or widowed men and women), finances, transition from a single lifestyle to a marriage partnership, and obligations to family members.

Pregnancy
Pregnancy is always treated as a caution to marriage, as opposed to a reason to speed up a wedding, since it may interfere with a person’s free consent. If the couple only started to discuss marriage following the pregnancy, then the issue of undue pressure to marry needs to be explored. On the positive side, “In light of our Church’s consistent witness to the sanctity of human life, the couple’s choice to embrace the pregnancy should be affirmed by the pastoral minister.”

2. FAITH ISSUES
(ecumenical, interfaith, non-practising Catholics)

Terminology
Policies differ on what terms to use for what the Code of Canon Law calls “mixed marriages.”

Pastoral Approach
Despite the complexity of combinations, canon law and liturgical rites are specific about what dispensations and rites are needed. Policies range from one to over 40 pages. What is common to the policies is the admonition to acknowledge the issue. Partners are also urged to learn about their future spouse’s faith; not for the purpose of conversion but for understanding and family harmony.

The Promise
Historically, perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of interreligious marriage has been the promise that Catholic partners must make to raise their children in the Catholic faith (canon 1125). The promise is made in the following or similar words:

I reaffirm my faith in Jesus Christ and, with God’s help, intend to continue living that faith in the Catholic Church. I promise to do all in my power to share the faith I have received with our children by having them baptized and reared as Catholics.

This promise can be made orally or in writing. The non-Catholic partner is to be informed of the promise, so that he or she is aware of the promise and obligation the Catholic partner has made. The non-Catholic partner no longer has to make a promise or sign a statement.

The Decree on Ecumenism, no. 3 clarifies that “to do all in one’s power” recognizes the religious convictions of the non-Catholic party and implies that a decision is reached that respects those beliefs. It does not mean an absolute promise at the risk of jeopardizing the marriage itself.

The Wedding Liturgy While it is standard for Catholic/Catholic weddings to use the Rite of Christian Marriage Within a Mass and for ecumenical weddings to use the Rite of Christian Marriage Outside a Mass, policies differ as to whether exceptions can be made.

-- Continued next week