“The world calls it a conversion, but I call it a change of heart”

Apr 24, 2014

“I was born Hindu (Telegu) and I am the eldest son in the family of two other siblings and my parents. When I was growing up my parents used to do monthly pujas at home, take us to the temple a few times a year, and so forth. Given my fascination with religion, you can probably tell that I would always ask why we did various rituals and what their significance was. The answers I got from my parents were usually not all that in-depth, and I found myself always desiring a more substantive explanation.

“I am currently a Navigation Officer who breathes the fresh air of the sea more than the air on land. I am also affluent and my income would put me distinctly in the upper class bracket. In other words, I am not a tribal, or poor or dim-witted. And yet, I chose to become a follower of Jesus Christ.

“The world would call me a convert to Christianity. I have no problems with that, though I see my faith more as a relationship with God through Jesus Christ than as a religion. And for the record, I can truthfully claim that no one financially induced or threatened or deceived me into converting to Christianity.

“I am fiercely proud of my identity as an Indian and I am completely at peace with my cultural identity as a Hindu. I retain the name my parents gave me. But if someone does ask me the reason behind the joy and hope that is ever present in my life, I am always delighted to share it with them.

“I write this piece to make one point—that my conversion was not a change of religion but a change of heart. To explain this I will have to take you where it all started. It happened 2 years back when I first met my fiancee who is a cradle Catholic back in my hometown. In a nutshell, we fell for each other and our happiest moment was when both sets of parents agreed to let us marry despite our difference in religion. None had any idea I had plans to become a Catholic.

“It sounds smooth right! My fiancee and her family had never forced me into the religion. I made the decision in the very early stage to become a Catholic when I first proposed to her family for marriage. I am not sure what guts it took for me to say that, or what drove me to come up with such words saying I WILL BE A CATHOLIC! I registered myself with the RCIA of CDM with my fiancee accompanying me. The best part would be: I only attended the introduction class. All the other sessions were attended by my fiancee. I would only attend classes whenever my feet touched the ground.

“She (my fiancee) is my book of FAITH. She would regularly send me notes and encouraged me to send my journal prayers to her. Being a Faith Educator she did justice to the faith by educating me well. Being out at sea, there was no means of communication but ONLY the satellite phone. I used to call her and tell her my prayers for my journal writing. I and my fiancee promised each other that being Catholic doesn’t make us less Indian.

“It was not easy being out there alone without any guidance yet my faith grew stronger every day. I began reading the Bible. I cannot begin to describe my feelings when I first read the New Testament texts. I saw myself in many of the parables and felt as if the Bible had been written especially for me. After reading every book I could find on the historical accuracy of the Bible and Christianity, I was convinced that the Bible has remained unaltered throughout the centuries. The circumstances surrounding Christ’s death led to the conversions of thousands. However, my perspective was still intellectual. I had lots of support from my fiancee and her family on the faith, but however my investigation had not ended. I actually watched movies that told the story of Jesus.

“For the first time, I actually imagined what it meant for the Son of God to be humiliated and even killed for my sake. Although the movie did not convince me that it was true, it did force me to wonder if Christians were right. I realized that if the Gospel stories were true, if Christ really was the Son of God, it was arrogant of me to reject Him and question the gift of salvation.

“After all the puzzles and uncertainty of this conversion, I was ready to take that leap of faith and accept Christ into my life. My parents have never truly accepted my conversion and still see my faith as a negative that overshadows my accomplishments. They were hurt and felt I was rejecting them by accepting Christianity. But now, I am satisfied that they accept me and my decision.

“The motivation behind my conversion, however, was my belief in one, objectively true faith. If Christianity is merely one of many equally valid religions, then the sacrifices I made were senseless. I was comfortable in my Hindu faith and enjoyed an active prayer life; I only gradually felt a void and stubbornly resisted God’s call from within the Church. It was Truth and Love that finally forced me to accept Christ as Lord. Jesus said to, “I am the way and the truth and the life: No one comes to the Father except through me” (In. 14:6). Christ’s redemptive sacrifice proved that God loves me and was lifting me up to Him.

“When I started living my life according to Catholic teaching, it worked. It worked better than I could have ever guessed it would. And now I can’t wait to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, which I believe will change my entire life. --Jason Jaysharmah, Church of the Divine Mercy, Shah Alam